Saturday, February 18, 2012

Hey Granny, guess how Lucy was created?

Sometimes you do your best to explain something wonderful, but end up with your toes touching your tonsils.

I try calling my Granny once a week, just to talk about anything that is on our minds. Many times that topic of discussion is Tuesday's NCIS episode, Allicia's pregnancy, or the generally boring way of life that is Waldron, Ark.

Today, however, that topic turned briefly to NFP.

It started out innocently enough. We were talking about how much of a blessing Lucy will be, and I said to her that sometimes the best blessings come unexpectedly. Allicia and I didn't exactly plan on Lucy being created when she did, but since we were both open to having a child, it's not like we were freaked out or panicking over the new life.

"I'll bet y'all will probably do a better job of being careful in the future," Granny told me.

"Yeah, we will," I said, starting down a path I wish I could get back. "The thing is, with Natural Family Planning there are signs that point to the possibility of pregnancy if you engage in sexual activity, but we just didn't pay enough attention to them."

Forget my amateur attempt at explaining NFP. Did you catch that? I used the phrase "engage in sexual activity" with my 71-year-old Granny.

Sexual activity? That's something you just don't say. Spousal bonding. The marital embrace. Intimacy. Hell, I could have just not said anything. I'm no prude, but using that phrase is something that just shouldn't be done when you're on the phone with your grandma.

I don't think my Granny thought anything of it. And thank God for that. Lucy should be the only sign to anyone that "sexual activity" took place. My big mouth shouldn't kill off the possibility of a stork delivery.

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